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24th July 2020

In_pictures Coronavirus: How coming-of-age rituals were interrupted – and reinvented

In_pictures Coronavirus: How coming-of-age rituals were interrupted – and reinvented

In_pictures

in_pictures Lindsay Rebodos at her Christian confirmation ceremonyImage copyright
4Memories/Leon Rebodos

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Lindsay Rebodos had her Christian confirmation ceremony in her church’s car park

We’re living in unusual times – and it can be a particularly strange time to be a teenager.

The coronavirus pandemic hasn’t just led to classes and holidays being cancelled – it has also made it harder to mark the moments you come of age, whether in a religious ceremony, a birthday party, or graduation.

We spoke to four people – Gideon, 13, Lindsay, 14, Ariana, 15, and Liam, 22 – who had once-in-a-lifetime events upended by the coronavirus. They told us what happened – and how they found creative ways to celebrate.

In_pictures ‘A quinceañera often costs as much as a car’

Ariana Diaz, 15, lives in Florida. Her family had planned to celebrate her 15th birthday with a quinceañera – a coming-of-age tradition that originated in Latin America. Quinceañeras can involve both religious ceremonies and a reception and party – and can take as much time and effort to plan as a wedding.

in_pictures Ariana Diaz celebrating her birthday with her familyImage copyright
Vinny Video Y Fotos

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Ariana, centre, turned 15 in May

In Hispanic culture, 15 is when you’re maturing, and people want to celebrate your turning into a woman. We had invited a lot of people – more than 400 – to my quinceañera.

Everyone in my family has celebrated their 15th with a quinceañera, and I’d always wanted one. I used to peek from behind the corner when my older sister practised dancing for hers – I’ve loved dancing since I was little.

Often a quinceañera costs as much as a car – my parents asked whether I wanted a car for my 15th – but I said I wanted a quinceañera instead, where everyone could come over and celebrate.

My friends and I started rehearsing for the traditional opening dance in February. There were 14 of us – seven boys and seven girls – and we were choreographing a Broadway-style performance based on a fairy tale. Every Sunday, after church, we’d go to the park and start practising, so I had my hands full.

The quinceañera was set to happen right after my birthday in May, and I was also going to celebrate mother’s day – I wanted to do a mother-daughter dance, and get my mom and grandma a nice gift.

I’d brought my dresses, and quite a few tiaras – my mom said we’d have one on the cake, one for church, and one to go with my second dress.

in_pictures One of Ariana's tiarasImage copyright
Ariana Diaz

I’m not going to lie, when I learned my quinceañera couldn’t go ahead, I was a little mad at first – but I did think, if it’s going to have to be like this because of the coronavirus, then it’s better to wait till it’s safe.

I’d rather have my quinceañera later, than have it now and have nobody come, or have people getting sick. Some of my relatives are older or don’t have good immune systems – I wouldn’t want them to get sick.

We’ve now moved it to September. I really hope it’s only postponed till then – but if it comes down to the worst and we can’t hold it then, I’ll have to turn it into an event for my 16th birthday instead. I might be mad in the moment, but I’ll still think it’s better this way – it’s better that people aren’t getting sick or passing away from this.

in_pictures Signing book and shoeImage copyright
Ariana Diaz

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Ariana also had a signing book, and shoes, prepared

I miss school so much. Online classes are harder because you can’t always get hold of the teachers – and Zoom meetings can be strange because sometimes people just stare at each other. A lot of my friends at school are moving, or switching schools – and I think “I won’t even be able to say goodbye to y’all!”. I still text them.

The weekend after my birthday – the day my quinceañera was originally scheduled – my mom surprised me. She told me I was going to have a photo shoot, so I got dressed and my sister did my hair and make up. Then, Mom suddenly said she had to go because she was needed at work.

The photographer told me to go outside – my mom had made a whole bunch of balloons for the photos, and put decorations all over the gate that said “Happy 15th”.

Then I heard a whole bunch of cars honking – and saw my mom’s car at the front! I started crying. A lot of my friends, everyone from the family, and one of my teachers had come for a drive-by birthday parade.

in_pictures Ariana Diaz's birthday paradeImage copyright
Vinny Video Y Fotos

in_pictures Ariana Diaz's birthday paradeImage copyright
Vinny Video Y Fotos

Everyone had their cars decorated with balloons or streamers, and they threw confetti or pulled party poppers from inside their cars.

After that, my mom organised a Zoom meeting for people who wanted to cut the cake with us. She brought two cakes – one was chocolate and fruit, and the other one was zucchini, peach and strawberry.

in_pictures Ariana Diaz's birthday paradeImage copyright
Vinny Videos Y Fotos

My mom had organised everything because she felt really bad my quinceañera was postponed – I was like “mom, it’s not your fault – you can’t stop the coronavirus”.

That evening, we did a lot of the dances I’d originally planned for the quinceañera – a sister dance, a mother-daughter dance, a brother-sister dance, and a father-daughter dance. I was crying for all the dances, and so was my mom. I was really touched, and I’ve been thanking my mom a lot.

In_pictures ‘We made cardboard DIY graduation caps and wore trash bags as robes’

Liam Ryan, 22, lives in Pennsylvania. He’s just finished his theatre degree at Drew University – and found an unusual way to celebrate.

in_pictures Students jump in unison at their Image copyright
Liam Ryan

My rough plan after graduating was to move to Chicago to start making it as a performer there. My plans have been put on a standstill with the pandemic – for now I’m just at home, trying to save up money.

In March, we’d learnt that in-person classes were cancelled for the rest of the semester, and we’d have to move out of campus. Our graduation ceremonies were also postponed.

It was certainly a blow. A graduation is really the finale of your whole college experience, and your last month of college is a huge, momentous part of your life. To miss out on that was really demoralising. It’s still very bizarre to now be officially graduated, and in the “real world”, without those last moments.

In those last few weeks on campus, we were kind of just in the throes of existential dread. Then one of my friends had the idea to do a mock graduation – it started off as a kind of joke, but then we all got more and more into it – to the point where we made cardboard DIY graduation caps, and wore trash bags as robes.

in_pictures Drew UniversityImage copyright
Liam Ryan

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Liam (right) says it “felt like a fitting end to the year”

Two days before we had to leave campus, we put our outfits on, made little fake paper diplomas, and walked across the main road of campus – the same route the graduating class normally takes – while blasting Pomp and Circumstance [a song often used in graduations] into a megaphone.

It was cool – a lot of people started to cheer us on. We gave speeches, and did a procession across the porch of the main building, and had one of our friends hand us our fake diplomas.

I would have preferred an actual graduation – but I’m so glad we had our own little ceremony – because it was kind of art in its own way. It was revelling in the weirdness of the moment, and it felt like a fitting end to the year.

The mock graduation, while kind of ridiculous and stupid, was a really nice moment of all of us being together and working on a project together one last time.

in_pictures Students pose at their Image copyright
Liam Ryan

I was one of the ones who gave a little speech, and I got choked up a little bit – because it really was an emotional moment, even given the fact we were wearing trash bags.

In_pictures ‘We had our confirmation in the parking lot of our church’

Lindsay Rebodos, 14, lives in Illinois. Her Christian confirmation ceremony – where a person makes a statement of faith, and confirms the promises made on their behalf when they were baptised – was delayed by about a month, and ended up happening in her church car park.

in_pictures Lindsay RebodosImage copyright
4memories/Leon Rebodos

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“While things are dark and I can’t always see what will happen, God has a plan for me”

I started preparing for my confirmation ceremony when I was 11. I went to classes every Wednesday for three years, and liked it because I realised it meant I had a group of people I could be safe and comfortable with, and talk to about my life.

At school, because of the pandemic, we had to cancel field trips, track season, and eighth grade graduation.

It was very hard obviously – to not have the same ending to middle school as my siblings did. Our teachers made a YouTube video for us to watch instead.

I’m very lucky my church made an effort to get us confirmed, given the conditions right now. It happened a month later than planned, in June, in the parking lot of my church.

in_pictures Confirmation ceremonyImage copyright
4memories/Leon Rebodos

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The teenagers getting confirmed stood spaced out in the carpark

We parked in every other spot so we could maintain a distance. The confirmands all stood in the parking lot – six feet away from each other – and wore masks. We took turns going up to the front, where we knelt on a bench, they prayed with us, and we were confirmed.

My cousins and extended family couldn’t come, and it was kind of hard with the mask, because I couldn’t really see everyone or their faces, but it was nice outside, the sun was shining, and I really felt God’s presence outside.

in_pictures Cars parked at the church for the confirmation ceremonyImage copyright
4memories/Leon Rebodos

Image caption

The confirmation took place in the car park of the Light of Christ Lutheran Church

It was the first time seeing a lot of my church group again. I’d missed seeing them in person – it’s not the same on the phone.

It was really special. My family were really proud of me and all the work I’d put in – it felt nice to be finally confirmed.

Earlier, I’d also given a presentation on Zoom about how my faith grew. I was very nervous, but I knew that these people wouldn’t judge me. I chose a verse – 2 Corinthians 5:7, “for we walk by faith, not by sight”, which reminds me that while things are dark and I can’t always see what will happen, God has a plan for me.

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Media caption“Dear Class of 2020”: Graduating high school seniors’ messages to their peers

In_pictures ‘I had been excited for my friends to meet each other’

Gideon Lopatin, 13, lives in Detroit. His bar mitzvah ceremony – which marks the transition into adulthood for young Jews – was meant to have taken place in June in his synagogue, with about 500 attendees. His family had to cancel the gathering – but marked his bar mitzvah on Zoom. Since they are orthodox Jews, they don’t use electronics on the Sabbath, but held events on Thursday, Friday, and Sunday instead.

in_pictures Gideon wearing a mask that reads Image copyright
Rachel Lopatin


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